Today marks 5 years since David was taken away from me in a very violent, terrifying way. When I look back to that day I see terror and sadness but then I see God’s hand and his grace. Many people would not understand how or why I see God’s hand in that horrible day but when you look at it from God’s eyes you/I see his tender hand protecting us. I know I haven’t posted anything for a really long time but I would like to update anyone who might read this on what has happened these last few years!
In May of 2011 I started having a tingly/numb sensation in my right leg that would not go away but I pushed it off as stress. Then in February 2012 I woke up and could not see out of my left eye, so after a MRI and many doctor appointments I was diagnosed with MS (multiple sclerosis). At the time this was so devastating but after lots of prayer my eye sight came back in less than a month and the tingly sensation has gone away and my MS is stable.
On a happier note I have seen my sister get married and become a mom, I have become an auntie to two adorable girls and one on the way (we don’t know if it’s a boy or girl yet), I have gotten back onto my jet ski and have been able to enjoy it this summer, went skydiving, I’ve shot guns again with my dad. I’ve bought a house and I am for the first time living independently, I love having my own space. My biggest change is that I am dating a wonderful man who has been patient, loving, understanding and caring during the many trials I have gone through. He would love to marry me (like yesterday) but since David has never been found I have not been able to receive a death certificate so I am still legally married. So as I always tell him SOMEDAY…. just like I told him before we went on our first date. If I was killed 5 years ago I would not of been able to experience all of these JOYS in my life.
Has the last 5 years been hard YES, has it been good YES, do I still think of that day 5 years ago YES, have I received joy amidst sadness YES. God has been so gracious to me the last 5 years and I know that I will continue to have new found joy in my life and God will continue to restore the joy that was taken from me. I am excited to see what God has planned for me and for my future.