The other day I came across this saying and it spoke to my heart, I believe God new I needed some encouragement.  So, I would like to share it with anyone who reads this and that you will also be encouraged.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget the ones who don’t.

Believe everything happens for a reason, if you are given a second chance, “Grab it with both hands”

If it changes your life

“Let It”

Nobody said life would be easy, They promised it would be worth it!

After reading this my heart was so touched because I was given my second chance and I know if God’s hand was not on my life on Sept 30, 2010 I would not be here.  A friend said to me ” Tiffany it was not your time, if it was, you wouldn’t be here “.  I have always known this but I guess after reading this it became even more real to me.  I have said it before that I really want this year to reflect my second chance and that I want to live my life to the fullest and live a life God and David would be proud of.

I have started to work again which has been really good because I am getting out of the house and meeting people.  It has been an adjustment going from not working for the last 15 months to working 2 part time jobs but it is keeping me busy and I am enjoying it.

This year has had it’s challenges and my faith has been tested all over again.  So, due to some challenges that rocked me to the core, I have not been living my life the way I would like to and now that I have gotten through those difficult times, I feel I am back on track and encouraged that life is heading down a path that only God could have paved out for me and I know he has walked my steps before me and all I have to do is follow in his footsteps.  So, my prayer is that God will lead me down his path he has planned for me because I know his will for my life is greater than I could imagine.

I also had come to the conclusion that my life is bigger than my moments and that my identity is not in David’s death nor Sept 30th, yes it has formed part of my identity and the person that I am today and who I am becoming, but it is not who I am.  My identity is in who God says I am not who the world says I am.  Yes, I have gone through the most horrible thing anyone could imagine, and I am still going through a lot of the pain and grief but I also know that I can not stay in my grief.  Staying in a place where I don’t allow myself to heal doesn’t do me or anyone else any good.  I remind myself all the time that David is happy and he is at peace and in reality he got the better end of the deal.  So I feel I grieve more for myself and not for David.  God’s word says he heals the brokenhearted but he can only do that if we allow him access to our heart and to our pain.  My only hope is that through my life and overcoming the pain I feel inside that God will use me to touch other women and men who have maybe gone through or are going thru a tragic experience.  To encourage them and help them see that God is with them, he loves them, and that he did not make what they are experiencing happen to them, but he will be there to help them through it.

I was watching a movie the other day and the daughter in the show, lost her husband and she asked her dad ” how do you let go “?  He said ” your not letting go of the love you shared with him, your letting go of the life you shared with him “.  I found that to be great wisdom and I also find it relates to anyone who has lost a spouse, child, parent, sibling or friend.  I hope this has been encouraging to anyone who maybe reading this

God Bless

John and Wanda Casias

I am deeply saddened that John and Wanda Casias were murdered in Mexico and that not only were their lives effected but they had 10 children who lost not just one parent but both at the same time from the ruthless violence of a group of coward who have no respect for human life.  The only thing comforting in their death is that they are with our Lord and are happy beyond what we can imagine.  My prayers and thoughts are with the Casias family and I pray God will bring peace and comfort to their lives.  Many people have had such wonderful things to say about this couple and it sounds to me God had a two wonderful people helping him to spread the Good News.

God Bless

Remains Found on Falcon Lake

I first would like to start off by saying how much I appreciate that the Mexican Authorities located and recovered the remains so quickly.  And how the U. S. Authorities kept me informed as to what was going on as they got updated.  But most of all I appreciate that Alton Jones did his part as to taking down GPS coordinates and taking a photo so they could give the information to Border Patrol.  Without him thinking to take down the GPS coordinates it would of probably taken a lot longer to find the remains.  Even though the remains were not my husband which we are extremely sad that it wasn’t him but we also knew that the possibilities were slim.  I still have to thank everyone because this guy has a family and they deserve to find the same closer and peace that we are looking for.  I will be praying that the Mexican Authorities can figure out who he is and are able to contact his family.

I know a lot of people don’t agree with me that one day David will be found and that he will come home to me and our families.  I know his body is dead but his spirit is alive in Heaven.  I feel without hope there is nothing to believe or hope in and I know my God and if he can create a Heaven and Earth, cure someone from cancer and so many more things than he can find a way to bring David’s remains home.

God has been so faithful in my life and there’s no reason for me to doubts his love for me.  Even though my extreme sadness I still can find reasons to praise God.  Trust me I’ll be the first to say when I’m struggling I look at God and ask WHY but by the time I’m done being mad at God I’m praising him.  I would not be here today if it wasn’t for God’s love and grace, he saved me on September 30, 2010 and no one can deny that.  I could of been shot and killed like David or worst, I could of been taken, raped, abused and then killed.  So, everyday I have reason to praise and thank God for what he has done in my life and what he is doing in my life.

So, if your reading this and you pray please join me in praying for the family of this gentlemen.  We may not know who they are but God does and he hears our prayers.  Just like he hears my prayers, I believe in God’s timing David will come home.

http://denver.cbslocal.com/2012/01/10/hartley-says-skeleton-found-in-falcon-lake-wasnt-david/

Love and God Bless

Tiffany

Remains found at Falcon Lake

We are praying that David will be able to come home soon and we can find some closer in knowing he is back home in Colorado and we can honor him the way he would want to be.  We know David is alive in Spirit but not in body and that he’s in Heaven having an adventure of a lifetime. 

We also are realistic that possibly it won’t be David but it’s someones Son, Brother and Friend and his family deserves the same closer that we do.  So, we will continue to hold onto hope and our faith in God.  God will bring peace and comfort no matter the outcome. 

http://www.9news.com/rss/story.aspx?storyid=238693

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

On Christmas Day I was reflecting on Jesus’s birth but also that I couldn’t believe that this is the second Christmas without David.  10 years ago Christmas Day David gave me the 2nd best gift of all, the first was Sept 29, 2001 he choose me to spend his life with and the second Christmas Day 2001 he gave me Cytori, our German Shorthaired Pointer.  He sat me down in the middle of the living room at my parents and gave me the last gift to open, so here I am, everyone standing across from me with cameras and I open the gift and in it is a puppy book, collar and leash, then up the stairs David comes with the most adorable puppy you have ever seen.  I was so suprised that my parents would agree to him giving me a puppy but then I found out that they told him, if you want to give her a puppy then the puppy stays with you until your married.  At that time we had 3 dogs already in the house and didn’t need anymore, but she was soo cute they couldn’t help but let her come over every now and then.  So, here we are 10 years later and Cytori is still the best gift I ever got and when I look at her I think of David and how he always told us that we were his two favorite girls.  As Cytori’s Christmas gift this year I got her a piggy stuff animal that I knew David would love and I knew he wouldn’t of thought twice to pick the piggy out of all the other animals. 

Christmas was quiet for us this year, we stayed home, opened gifts and had dinner.  Noramlly we’re running out the door to get somewhere like most families I’m sure but not this year, we all felt like we needed a Christmas where we just enjoy the day and spend it with eachother (dad,mom,tia, josh and my grandparents and uncle).  Since my grandparents are living with us now we gave them a Christmas that they haven’t had in probably over 20 years so it was fun for all of us to shower them with gifts and love.  Grandpa came to tears many times, I think because he realizes what he missed out on all those years they didn’t come to spend the holidays with us.  Not the gifts but spending it with family and seeing the love we share for eachother.  So, we really had a blessed Christmas.  

Now, as the new year is approaching I look back at this year and wonder where it went,  I pray that this year brings peace, comfort and joy into our lives/my life and that I spend this year living a life David would be proud of.  I have been given a second chance at life and I plan on not wasting it and living a life that God would be able to tell me Well Done.  So, with 2012 only a few days away I am looking foward to what God has in store for me this year, a year full of blessings and peace.  I pray for everyone reading this that God will bring many blessings to and your family in 2012. 

God Bless

It’s been awhile…

I’m not even sure where to begin, it has been awhile since I wrote anything, mainly because life has been so wrapped up in taking care of my grandparents that when I do have some down time I just want to do nothing.  Life has had it’s challenges the last few months taking care of them, as i’m sure you could imagine, with 5 adults living in one home that there is bound to be struggles especially with grandma having Alzheimer’s and grandpa heading down the same path,   but were doing the best we can.

Before the year anniversary my dad and I went to NY for the Today Show.  It was nice to spend time with just him and see his reaction to his first visit to NY.  He’s a country boy and the big city was pretty overwhelming to him and just plain too big.  He couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to live there.  

At the end of October I went to a Ladies Conference and I had the opportunity to meet a lady who went thru a tragic/horrible experience herself and we instantly were friends.  She was able to shine some light on my situation.  I look at her experience (which she easily could of died from)  and then mine and my first reaction was, wow her experience was worse than mine but like she said “Pain is Pain”.  Very true, what I’m going thru and what someone else is may be very different but the pain is the same.  Everyone of us has or will go thru a tragic situations the question is how we react to it, we can either rise up or dwell in it.  I was given some sermons from a church here in Colorado and they have spoken to me so much lately.  I know if I heard or listened to them at the beginning of my grief I wouldn’t of been able to take anything from it since I was so angry (I still am but it’s different from before).  But now I feel I’m ready, I’m ready to allow God to move me to a different level spiritually.  The pastor said something (well many things) that really moved me, he said “You will only grow to the level of your capacity, we make the decision if we’re going to press thru the pain or dwell in our pain”  (along those lines).   I have been a Christian since I was 12 or 13 but my faith, hope and trust in God has only become stronger since Sept 30, 2010.  I know that the moment David was taken from me I had a choice to either run to God or away from God, and I chose to run to him because I know he is the only one who can get me through the pain I am going through.  Now, don’t get me wrong I have been really mad at God for allowing this to happen in my life, but I have many things to be thanking him for.  He has shown me Grace, Mercy and Favor and Love beyond what I could of imagined.  His unfailing love and faithfulness has been indescribable in my life.

“One Minute Speech”

Here is Congressman Cory Gardner’s speech on the house floor today (Oct 5, 2011)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOFZMWHmYT0

One Minute Speech

Congressman Gardner wants to do what they call a “One Minute Speech” on the floor of the House of Representatives, discussing the one year anniversary of the attack on Falcon Lake.  It’s kind of a special thing.  They enter the speech into the Congressional Record.  The purpose of the speech would be to draw attention to the unfinished business in this case, and to help raise awareness about the violence on the border.  He’s going to team up with some other congressmen to maybe do the same thing.

I got a call this morning that the congressman was going before the house around 10:00am.  If I can I will post a video later.

September

This month has been really emotional and hard, which was expected.  With it being the year anniversary month, I have really been emotional and for the first couple weeks of September I think I cried almost everyday.  It is just so hard for me to believe that I have gone almost a whole year without David.  But this year has gone so fast it just doesn’t seem possible that it could be a year, it feels like it has only been months.  So many things are different in my life now, that I can’t even believe the changes that I have gone through.  

On September 16th Pam (David’s mom) and I flew into McAllen, TX so we could have a few days before I was going to testify at a Congressional Field Hearing in Brownsville, TX.  On Saturday we went to Falcon Lake so we could visit the lake and we could have quiet, personal time with no one else, no media just us.  We knew going back would be hard but we really wanted to visit the lake since that is as close as we can get to David.  We talked about how it is still hard to believe that we have lived almost a year without David, I shared with Pam some of my memories of our time in August when David and I went to the lake.  We both walked away glad that we went but after getting in our car and driving away I found myself having a really hard time because I felt like I was leaving David behind once again.  I can’t say that I will or won’t go back to Falcon to visit again but I imagine every time I leave I will feel like I’m leaving him behind.  I didn’t put any expectations on my visit to Falcon but I can say I didn’t even think about how I would feel when I left. 

The hearing on Monday 19th I was so nervous to get up there with these gentleman who have testified before and who are experts in their field.   Here I am out of my element, nervous and hoping I don’t make a fool of myself.  I feel I did okay but not great, I just hope they got a feeling of what I went through that day and how my life has dramatically changed.  I have met Congressman Ted Poe before so it was nice to see him again, and it was really nice to meet Congressman Farenthold.  I  believe both gentleman received a better understanding of what the border issues are and what needs to happen to help make it a safer place for farmers, American citizens and tourist. 

On September 30th we had a candle light vigil in Memory of David for family and friends. I hope it was a time thateveryone was able to reflect and share memories of David.  I ended up not going because it was such a hard day I just couldn’t bring myself to get out of the house.  My family bought stuff to make s’mores, so late that evening we decided to go and enjoy a memory that we all share of us making s’mores with David.  Tia was making fun of him because he was the worlds longest s’more maker, it had to be just perfectly golden brown (Not burnt).   There were many stories shared and remembered that evening.  I heard the vigil was really nice, I am so thankful and grateful to Pam, Nikki, Jenny and Marnie (David’s mom, sister and two of our friends) who organized the vigil so friends and family could gather and share memories together.  As much as I dreaded the year anniversary I am glad it is over and now we can focus on getting thru the holidays again.  It seems like when you get through one major event, you have another one you have to get geared up for.  It’s never ending but I guess that comes along with losing someone you love so much.

Congressional Field Hearing

After the Field Congressional Hearing Pam and I did a couple interviews, so I thought I would attatch a couple of them.

Once you open the new window for this video, on the right side there are the videos that you can see just click on the video that shares the same picture as the article.